Week 2 Continues...

I went on a mommy’s vacation of sorts today. The Man had a work function at night and I didn’t feel like spending so many hours alone with The Baby. So I took The Baby and went to my parents at noon and only came home after dinner. It was nice to have someone else to just HOLD and fuss over The Baby and only have him brought to me when he got hungry and needed to eat.

On that note, being a stay at home mum is TOUGH. I’ve only been doing this for a week and a half with an infant, and I can imagine it being waaaay tougher with older, more demanding children or if you are dealing with more than 1 child! I’m sure being a working mom comes with its own set of challenges and I’ll face them in time to come, and hopefully note them down here as well. But being a SAHM means you only have your own wits to keep you company for the majority of the day. And anyone who thinks a SAHM mean lounging it and chillaxing all day long can stuff it – for the past few days these are the things that I have not been able to finish before The Baby wakes: my meal, my drink, my tea, the laundry, the bottles washing up and sterilizing, my business on the throne, a good ol wee. The Baby has been a bit fussy and slept for very short periods the past few days, and when he is awake, he constantly wants to be carried. He doesn’t like it if we remain stationary while holding him too, he likes his human carrier to walk around so he can look around with his baby eyes. To SAHM everywhere – hats off to you, seriously!  

Another aspect of SAHM that’s less than peachy, at least for me is what I see when I look into the mirror. When I go to work, I make the effort to at least comb my hair, and most days I have some make-up on. On days that I have to go to court / have important meetings, I’d even put on the full armour of war paint because it’s important to me. But since I’m at home all day, I don’t even bother to change out of the t-shirt that’s been spat on by the baby. What’s the point when he’s just gonna spit on it again in a few minutes? And my hair is just hastily pulled into a hive on top of my head between one wash and another. When you look good, you feel good (at least for me). So staying at home so much has been dampening my esteem a lil.

I cannot believe how fast this has happened, but the first baby related bodily hazard has already happened. I’ve hurt BOTH my wrists. I don’t know how, when or why, but they both hurt quite badly. I suspect it’s from doing the same motion over and over again, and holding The Baby in the same position for prolonged period of time. We have both fallen asleep when I nurse him to sleep at night, and I’d wake 2 hours later not being able to feel my arms and hands. It’s just made doing things and carrying The Baby a bit more difficult with such wonky wrists, and I’m terrified of dropping him. As a matter of fact I have, but it is on the bed and not that high of a drop, and he went down bum first.

As I type and looked over to The Baby, a mosquito is on his face! How dareth this wretched little creature. Now I have to annihilate him and his entire family for the audacity to land on my baby’s sweet lil face. Prepare to die a horrible death, you winged thing with sting, you!

I’ve also been struggling with the dreaded ‘mom’s guilt’ over Babu and Charlie, especially Babu. I don’t think he’s been extra naughty and attention seeking, but just his usual curious, naughty self. But curiosity is a sign of intelligence and I need to remind myself of that. Also now there are a lot more things in the house, almost all of them are off limits to him, but he doesn’t understand that concept. So I’m scolding him a lot more, and generally feeling like I’ve been neglecting him and feeling bad about it. If I feel this way about our doggo, what more moms with an older child or older children, especially if said older child is in the naughty toddler age of trying, touching, eating and questioning everything?