The First Week Back At Work

I made it through the first week back at work and it was excruciating.

Physically, I was unaccustomed to the new routine, getting up early and driving through heavy traffic during rush hour. Though I’d done that for many years before this, doing it now with broken, shallow sleep takes some getting used to. Also there are so many things to pack and bring before we leave the house that by the time I hit the traffic, I am already tired.

More than anything though, I missed my baby terribly. Some mornings I was crying after dropping him off and had to put on my sunnies so the other drivers on the road wouldn’t think I’m mad. He is happy, alert, gurgly and smiley in the mornings and I just hated that I had to leave him.

I missed feeding him while I’m at work, looking at his cute little face as he latched on and suckling away. I now cherish every nursing session even more as they are just such precious time with him.  I will imagine his drinking facial expressions and the cute little sounds he makes while I pump at work, as I read that thinking of your baby will help with the let-down and get the milk flowing.

While I love breastfeeding for its obvious nutritional and emotional benefits, I also love that it’s so convenient when you feed directly. There are no parts to fiddle with, no need to sterilize, it’s always the perfect temperature, and it’s a great way to calm the baby etc. The opposite of that convenience is pumping. Pumping is my least favourite part about breastfeeding. There are so many things to think about – to bring, to assemble, and to WASH. Oh my goodness the washing! Mountains of washing at the end of a work day is really something else. Despite all that, I feel that it’s the least I could do as my baby’s mama for all the hours that I am away from him, so I will keep doing it for as long as I can. I’ve also come to enjoy them as the little breaks during the work day where I can actively think about my baby and dedicate that time to missing him (though that doesn’t always happen – I’ve had to work through some pump sessions too).

The original childcare plan also ran into some problems and we had to switch to a different arrangement mid-week. Although the new arrangement takes slightly more travelling and is a bit more troublesome, the peace of mind it brings is invaluable and at least I don’t go to work with a heavy weight on my heart every morning.

The second week will commence in less than 6 hours. Hopefully it will go smoother and I’ll be able to get a better grip on things. It's challenging to go back to work after 3 months. Giving birth and being a mom has been so completely life-changing that I've had to do more to put myself back into working mode. 


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