Day 5 – 29.7.2017

So I think the work I’ve been putting in to generate more milk (pump more, take more “milk booster” food/drinks, ensure the boobehs are emptied out as much as possible each time) is slowly showing results. Them boobehs fill up at a faster rate now. The let-down is also getting a bit more forceful. The Baby latched and flicked on the “MILK NOW” button with his vigorous suckle, then he unlatched for no reason (just to latch back again a second later, it’s like a game for him – his version of the Hunger Game). The nipple, having been trained to obey The Baby’s command and already reporting to feeding duty was caught off-guard and sprayed a stream of milk in a projectile mid-air, and wouldn’t stop! The stream was spraying straight at his eyes and face, and I was holding the boob and screaming, “OH NO, Stop! Stop!! Put it back in!!!”. It’s like turning on the tap to the garden hose and got caught off guard by its power, and the hose starts shooting about wildly like a python on seizure and you are struggling to hold on to it. Quite a sight.

Speaking of sights, I feel that I owe the people of the world an apology for being subjected to the sight of my engorged boobehs and sore, red nipples without asking for it. I whip out my boobehs so frequently in a day that sometimes I forget where I am, and proper nudity decorum.

It was also The Baby’s full moon dinner – slightly delayed because of his dad’s business trip on the weekend he turned 1 month old. The evening was lovely – and it wasn’t until later that night that The Man told me of a particular incident when he was walking around the restaurant to soothe the cranky baby. An aunty just marched up to him and told him that babies shouldn’t be held that way, and TOOK THE BABY from him and proceeded to show him the “correct” hold. Man, I wanted to stuff poop-filled diaper into her mouth when I heard that. How rude! You do not take a baby just like that when you are a random stranger– that is the work of children kidnappers. And I don’t care about her “good intentions” – people abuse this term way too often and truly, the path to hell is paved with people’s stupid good intentions.

I feel that I am now qualified to talk about the different type of pains associated with breastfeeding. I hope there’s no more discovery of new type of pain, but who knows.

1. Nipple pain type 1 – from improper latches. There are thousands of videos about good latch / bad latch, and I have watched all of them. I have also come to the conclusion that different experts and lactation consultants and midwives teach different things about “How to Get the Perfect Latch”. Opinions differ as to the most optimal / perfect way to hold your baby to latch, whether to bring baby-to-boob OR boob-to-baby etc – you gotta experiment and find out what works for you and your baby. For example, no amount of self-education have prepared me for my baby’s habit of spitting out the nipple halfway through feeding, just to suck it back again (like a candy) within a mili-second. And there is NOTHING you can do to stop him from doing that. The internet mums caution that you can tell your baby NOT to do certain things, like biting or anything that hurts you, but not too stern because you might scare your baby off and s/he won’t want to latch again. Sensitive little things that they are.

2. Nipple pain type 2 – this you get when it gets chilly, or you get a chill. For instance, when you enter a very cold room; when the aircon blows your way; when you get a sudden bout of deja-vu; or when Rebel Wilson slays her role as Fat Amy in Pitch Perfect that you get a chill. You know what happens when you get chilly? Your nipples get hard. When your nipples are already battered and super sensitive and you get chilly – OUCH.

3. Breast pain type 1 – when them boobehs get refilled after a nursing sesh. It is a deep sharp, shooting pain in the depth of your breasts. A bit like the burning pain you get at the back of your throat when you gulp down a too cold mouthful of Coke too fast.

4. Breast pain type 2 – when you get engorged. Your usual lovely, squishy boobehs get super hard. They won’t even move / swing with your movements. Heaven forbids you shall be head-butted by your adorable nephew at your chest when you are engorged – the pain will be there for HOURS. 

Til the next post!