Day 3 – 27.7.2017

Day 3!  Wow I wonder if I’d be able to keep up this daily journal thing for the entire month.

Is there such a thing as post-partum carpal tunnel? I was plagued by a brief episode of carpal tunnel during pregnancy – which is common and well documented during pregnancy. But for the past 2 days I’d woken up with horrible stiffness and pain in my thumb and wrist, such that I couldn’t even spread my fingers wide or tie my hair.

I set up the baby audio monitors today. The Baby was fast asleep in the room after his morning feed and I didn’t want to wake him up by carrying him down. It’s useful and all, but I am just a little creep out by it. The receiving monitor displays a frequency sound, followed by your baby’s sound whenever the detecting monitor detects anything. It comes in and out quite suddenly (like a walkie-talkie). And that baby monitor scene from Insidious is just too freaky to forget (Google it).  What if I suddenly hear a voice talking to my baby, comforting him…what am I gonna dooooo??

Today has been considerably more relaxed, partly due to my re-realization of the meaning of this post-partum period as I was re-reading yesterday’s post prior to publishing it (the pause to smell the baby bit), and partly due to the fact that Pitch Perfect was on TV in the afternoon. So I decided to feed the baby in the living room, in front of the telly instead of the bedroom. It’s scientifically proven that a person watching something s/he likes on TV is more relaxed than a person who is not. But boy, how I love that movie. Hopefully my more relaxed mood has translated to better milk output too.

Some thoughts on breastfeeding. I am absolutely obsessed with it. And I don’t know whether the obsession is healthy. I didn’t know much about it even up to the point of delivering the baby, but once I started doing it, I read up the whole damn internet about breastfeeding – learning about latches, output, PUMPS, the science behind it, everything. I have been quite fortunate that I have not had huge problems in terms of latching and supply so far. And they say breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt – but I don’t know if that’s possible. I know all about good latch / bad latch, but my baby has such a vigorous suck – I call him my little barracuda, and he nurses SO frequently – sometimes for food, other times for comfort that I am just sore all the time.

The little boy has such funny nursing habits too. He gets hungry immediately the moment he wakes up (or rather, he sleeps until he is hungry, #lifegoal or what), and will up an octave in his cries if he is not fed within seconds of him wanting a meal. Sometimes he forgets that he’s already eating, and will start crying half-way through his meal – his cries muffled since he has the breast in mouth. Now that he has more muscle control, he has started punching, cupping, kneading my boobehs as he is feeding, his sharp little finger nails digging into the flesh. Sometimes he throws his tiny arms around the boob to hug and hoard it. Other times he lies there all starfish and relaxed, having a drink.

Pain and discomfort aside, I absolutely love having him so close to me for a substantial period of day, and I pray that he will not suddenly decide he does not want to latch anymore, not before I am ready to stop. I read that some babies will suddenly not want to latch anymore, preferring to take the bottles. Perhaps not many can relate, but it would be so heartbreaking L Like being rejected by my baby. Noooooooo. I am also looking forward to his many nursing styles and habits that he will start developing and adopting. Over the course of his life, he will come to know, love and depend on many other people. But breastfeeding directly this way is something that he can only do with me, and I truly love and cherish that (unless he goes and hire a wet nurse, for the love of boobehs). Besides food and nutrients, I’m glad that I am able to provide him with the comfort he wants. That to me has been the most fascinating thing about breastfeeding.

Again, many of my thoughts and perspectives as a new mom come from the fact that I hadn’t always wanted to have babies. This baby was fully planned and wholeheartedly loved, but for most of my adult working life, I have never given much thought about all things babies and babies related. I also didn’t use to spend much time around small children or babies. Hence many things are foreign and new, and some of them fascinating. (The other things mostly associated with kids, the smelly things – pee, poop and vomit, those I am already used to, having lived with The Dog and The Cat for a few years now).

Well that’s rambly enough.

It got a bit more challenging towards the evening, which according to the books is the customary ‘fussy time’ of some babies. He’d cry and nothing comforts him except latching him, then he’d fall asleep once he is latched on. I’d then unlatch him, and he wakes up, and wants to latch again, then fall asleep shortly after. The cycle repeats in this pattern for 3-4 hours until we are both exhausted, then he falls into a deeper sleep until his next meal.

It’s close to midnight and I am getting ready to feed / pump him again. I realized I am getting more obsessed with pumping than actually feeding him. To be able to see milk squirting out in fine streams in the cups give a certain sense of satisfaction, since there is no way of knowing if the baby is ACTUALLY getting the milk when he drinks straight from source. You just gotta trust that the baby is getting milk.

World War Z is on TV! That’s 2 of my favourite movies on TV today alone (the other one being Pitch Perfect J ) And never have I been more glad to see The Man returning from work in the evening as I do now. Besides the obvious of having another person to share the baby duties, having another adult for quiet company (when the baby is asleep) is so important for overall sanity and happiness.